EM: 10 Things In Life That I Just Don't Understand...

Okay, in all honesty, you may think that this is going to be some deep blog I'm going to write about the world and life in general, but seriously, I can admit that those kind of blogs are not my forte. Want something deep? That's Ju's deal, I'm a fairly simple minded person, and I tend to focus on things that aren't necessarily important, but that tend to get to me, and so, this is my list of 10 things (in no particular order) that i've encountered in my life that I just don't understand...

1.) Action movies: Why? I don't care how many cars you can blow up if there's no plot to go along with the story. Seriously, could you please have a reason for the hummer jumping over 8 freaking helicopters and into the lake of fire? That would never happen, so if you're gonna' try and entertain my mind, can you at least convince me that it has a point?

2.) Emo Kids: Okay, seriously, fuck you guys. I mean, really? You're lives are that bad? Half of you are spoiled little rich kids that sit in front of the TV with your Ben and Jerry's crying about how much your life sucks. NEWSFLASH! There's kids in Africa starving to death, dying, losing loved ones every day and constantly living in fear, so when you guys start having realy problems, then you can start bitching. Until then, strap on your big boy/girl panties and get the fuck over it.

3.) Grounding your kids: I just don't understand... in all honesty... My parents never believed in grounding. They had this philosophy that in punished you for what you'd do in the future but not actually solve the problem at hand. Therefor, i've never been grounded. As a result, i've never felt the need to rebel, never felt the need to fight with my parents (never been in a fight with either of them) and never been in any real trouble. I mean, they laid down the law from day one and gave me real consequences I could fear rather than just being like "You do this or you're grounded!" and so I always did what I was told, but never had a real problem with it... see parents... if you're kids know they trust you they won't be retarded and go dicking around!

4.) Steven Segal: You can't act, how you ever got into movies is completely amazing, you make me want to burn myself with candle wax. Shut up, stop acting, cut off your goddamn pony tail you freaking goon.

5.) Jean Claude Vandamm: Like he above you, you just suck. I mean, I watched one of your movies and it actually used video game explosions when the train crashed! Two words dude... Time Cop... I mean, wow... that was just sad, and plus you had a mullet... good god...

6.) Sylvester Stallone: I.... HATE.... YOU.... SO.... MUCH!!!!!!! The very site of you makes me want to beat your skull in with a golf club! Rambo?! Rocky?! STOP! It's like, the same character only one boxes and the other has a crossbow or some shit! You suck sooooooo bad! I don't care how many oscars your movies have been up for, you can't act, you have no talent, you're a shit stain on the underpants of life.  Like the two above you, never act again.

7.) Bathroom Air dryers: Why the hell would any bathrooms have these to dry people's hands? First of all, one tree makes a shit ton of paper towels, so it's not like were killing one tree per towel, so all you hippies can just chill. Second of all, it's been proven multiple times that they actually blow more germs onto your hands then are on the paper towels themselves after you've washed. And third, they take like 10 minutes to dry your hands! And let's face it people, they never get them completely dry, so then you leave, after spending all that time drying them, with damp hands, which you then wave in front of you like a choade and wipe them on your pants. It's inconvenient, it's stupid, and I hate them so much.

8.) Ultra Thin Condoms: I mean, doesn't it speak for itself??? Why would you want them to be thinner when the whole purpose of them is protection and they're already known to break anyway? More feeling? Whatever dude, even if I was having sex I wouldn't do that! I'd rather not feel anything that hear the breaking of the rubber... It's just a stupid invention for dumb horny people who are never satisfied. Just chill people... just chill.

9.) Not letting you bring your own candy into the movies: I've been stopped by employees numerous times. "No outside food allowed", yeah, so they can rape your wallet of $20 for four M&M's when I could buy a 4lb. bag of them for 2 bucks at Top Foods across the street. It's bull and I'm sneaking my stuff in anyway, you guys suck.

10.) Horror movies about dead chicks with long black hair: Come on, it's taking it's toll. Let's get a new villain please? I mean, it was a little freaky at first yeah, I'll admit that "The Grudge" gave my psychological problems, yeah (embaressing I know, but whatever) but come on, Horror flicks are my favorite thing in the world and they're all the same now, and the little girl with the hair in her face isn't doing it for me anymore. Come on screenwriters, as one of you, I say let's branch out a little!

THE JU: Asshole of the Year

So this fine night Em and i, and our friend alyssa went to see the movie Twighlight
of course whenever we get together hilarity (spelling?) ensues, so walking into the movie the three of us were cracking up and we decide to sit in three empty seats, leaving one seat between me and the couple next to me.
Well the guy in the couple quickly proved himself to be the asshole of the year.
Now let me paint a picture for you:
heavy guy, greasy long hair, nast beard, all black wardrobe fedora
heavy girl, chin length red hair, all black wardrobe, top hat

Instantly i hear asshole complaining about how they have to sit next to us. i hear things like
"ooh (blank) won't appreciate this. should i do the noble thing or the selfish thing? teenage girls are so nauseating. this movie better be worth it"

well i guess he decided to do the "noble thing" and sit next to me apparently saving his unseen friend from the horrors of a 17 year old girl in a movie theater.
a disgusted "hi" oozes from between his yellow teeth to which i reply
"what's up dude?" which is a basic greeting to anyone where i come from
about 2 minutes later he decides for no reason that he can't handle sitting next to me and returns to his original seat mumbling about teenage girls. well later the third person in his party arrives and sits next to me and this chick smells bad
i mean BAD
and the three of them continue to complain about everything that they are predicting that we are going to do
so when Em and Alyssa ask me if i want to leave (because they can't deal with the smell) i agree because i don't want to be anywhere near these people who apparently hate me and my friends


To clarify:
neither Em or alyssa or I had said a SINGLE thing after sitting down that anybody should have been pissed off about
if you don't want to deal with teenage girls DON'T go see Twighlight
and the thing that really pisses me off is the fact that i guaruntee you that we were the only three girls in that entire theater that weren't orgasming loudly everytime Robert Pattinson came onto the screen (no pun intended) so before you start bitching about sitting next to 17, 18 and 19 year olds who quietly admire the male form be thankful that you're not sitting next to the 13 year old girl who exhales loudly and creams in her pants at the change of every scene.

I actually feel really bad for you asshole of the year because you did not look like the ideal person to sit next to, but did i judge you? no. Did i sit there and openly tell the people i was with that your girl smelt like cheese, feet and festering ass? no. Did i make fun of your wardrobe bitch about all the shit that i thought you were going to do that would annoy me throughout the movie? no.
Because i gave you the benefit of the doubt, sure when i saw you i knew we wouldn't become friends but i thought "hey he may not be my crowd but i bet he's a cool person"
Because i still have faith in people, that maybe they're not all annoying, that maybe i can learn something from everyone i meet
and apparently you've lost that faith in people, so i'm sorry
sorry that you're life has treated you so badly that you have that cynical of a view of people
sorry that you feel the need to bring others down
sorry that the judgemental quality you flaunt as some sort of twisted defense to whatever you're scared of is going to keep you from getting to know some really cool people further down the road

EM: Ju's Face Of the Week

WEEK #1: So this is the first of many "Ju's Face of the Week". This face I like to call "The constipated choir singer", which was come up with after we went to a choir concert and noticed numerous people making this face. Ju and I, commenting throughout the entire concert and peoples facial expressions, found great enjoyment in noticing the weird shit people do. This face, primarily made by those of the female persuasion, looks like a combination of people focusing all their energy on their nose and mouth and a person who's trying to squeeze one out with great difficulty. Some of the other faces we noticed were "The Fish Hook" (primarily made by those of the male persuasion, this is what we call it when guys cock their heads and sing with one eye brow raised really high and look like their going to float away, lol) and we also noticed that in the large group of like, 50 kids, there's always that one girl who feels the need to really get into it and bobs up and down and shakes her body, sticking out like a sore thumb and, no ofense, looks like a total choade...

Fun With Mirrors

Messing around with the photobooth mirror effect n my new macbook, haha, Ollie has joined us

THE JU: The real Problem with the world

It seems to me that our country is really going down hill...i know it seems like that to everyone with the economy the way it is but i think it's bigger than that. The common scapegoats: George W. Bush, Oil Companies, the Stock Market. But i think it's us. The american youth. We live in a country with endless possibilities and opportunities but how many of us spend the bulk of our time sitting in front of a t.v mastering guitar hero or sitting in front of a bong getting too stoned to think

NEWS FLASH: Mastering guitar hero, no matter how cool it makes you (not) means you have way too much time on your hands

AND

Smoking pot is no longer sticking it to the man, that was our parents generation

There are so many kids in the world that would kill to get the education that we get handed to us, there are so many kids who would jump at the opportunity to work the jobs many of us feel to high and mighty to apply for. So before you start bitching about your job remember that to your grandparents flipping burgers was considered an opportunity, and that still applies to a lot of the world today.

We are probably the most spoiled generation ever and honestly it's getting somewhat ridiculous. Kids getting spots on MTV for having ridiculously overdone sweet 16s and attitudes to match. Kids bitching about school when free education is a rare commodity.

I have been obsessed with the 1960s since i can imagine. When i was 7 it was the shapes, colors and fashions, when i was 10 my interest expanded to the music and by the time i was 13 it was all about the drug culture. Now i'm 17 and i love the passion that that decade had. I don't think you can choose a more revolutionary decade. Civil rights, free love, and general acceptance were all lessons taught in those 10 turbulent years. 

All i want to know is where the hell did all that passion go, is it going to disappear with the baby boomers? In the 1960s the african americans had civil rights, the hippies had free love, and the whole country had vietnam. What issues are we going to  take on and change? What is our generation going to be known for other than being the first generation  with a shorter life expectancy than our parents? Who is going to be our Martin Luther King Jr.? Our Harvey Milk?

I guess all I'm looking for is a little depth. And i know that i'm not exactly stepping up to the plate right now either, and believe me, i've never been as disgusted with myself as i am right now. And i'm not saying "don't play guitar hero" god knows it's introduced kids my age to some decent music and classic songs, but maybe one day pick up a real guitar and make yourself the next Jimi Hendrix. And by all means smoke a bowl or two if you need to relax but don't let it strip you of your motivation, my father is one of the smartest people i've ever known but he hasn't stopped smoking weed since 1967 and now delivers flowers for a living.

Think about it when our parents were 17 their stereos took up an entire wall, now we walk around with a stereo and our entire music collection in our pockets. Think what our kids are going to have. And think about all that has improved since our parents time, they did that, what are we going to do to improve the world for our kids?

Let's be remembered for something more than just scene kids and the Jonas Brothers.