EM: You Twilight Fans know NOTHING!

So today, it officially set me off. The Twilight craze I mean. I was walking in the SURC and heard some girl say, SERIOUSLY, "Robert Pattinson made vampires sexy!"........ ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?! SUCK MY BALLS! Vampires have been considered sexy for freaking ever, that's the whole point of them. They're alluring! Dumb bitches! Robert Pattinson came in with his creepy ass "Guy you alert the flight attendant about" facial expressions and hung around like a totally unnecessary fart. There have been so many vampires in film that have been so much hotter than Robert Pattinson that it's kind of ridiculous. I'm sorry, but it has officially pissed me off. I mean, come on. Twilight, although entertaining, is in no way original or groundbreaking. GOD DAMMIT! I will now do a salute to all those who have been over looked because Twilight sucks so much!

Antonio Banderes in Interview With A Vampire

Stuart Townsend in Queen of the Damned

Brad Pitt in Interview With A Vampire

Tom Cruise in Interview With A Vampire

Gerard Butler in Dracula 2000

And yet you people, you crazy ass people with your golden contacts and your body glitter and you're "I kissed a Vampire and I liked it" T-Shirts continually find that it makes sense to drool over THIS!

CHOADE

Suck my balls people... suck them dry...

THE JU: Warm Me Up

Oh my darling Em. While the male species may not understand, I for one know exactly why you're extra pervy lately.

Blame it on the earth

It's because it's fall.

And it's cold.

And the only thing to do when it's cold is think about ways to warm up.

And since we all know how much you hate snuggies, there's really only one alternative.

I have been thinking about the exact same thing, as everyone with out a Y chromosome has. And it's time to address a new face that has no doubt been haunting female minds for about a year now.

Taylor Lautner

He gained womens' trust last year in Twilight, and with the addition of thirty pounds of muscle he'll be making their collar bones burn in New Moon next month.

The only problem.

He's complete jail bait.

I'm aware that this blog is wholly unoriginal. Taylor Lautner's status as fetus man candy is about as ground breaking as a picture of Britney Spears' vag.

Everybody's sick of hearing about it but we can't look away.

And I don't want to.

Look away from Taylor Lautner that is...not Britney's genitalia. bleh.

Anyways, getting back to topics that don't make me vomit in my mouth. I don't care that he's 17 years old. Because there comes a time when it doesn't matter (and that time came when he got a six pack). And while the fact that he's 17 makes me feel like a cougar even tho I'm barely 18, all I have to say is one thing.

The age of consent in Washington is 16.

XD

EM: My mind in pictures

So, lately... I'm a total perv! Shocking, I know! I seem to be stuck in a rut, the kind of rut where all you can think about is, well, you know... bad bad things. I mean, have I ever really had any other kind of mind? No, not really, but I mean, come on! Get over it, and move on Emily! But at the same time, can you blame me?... no, not really... Unless you're a man, then you may feel a little offended that I use your form as private mental entertainment XD Oops, was that too much information? Ugh, too late.

Exercise is important...

Transformers is too...

Tiger Woods thought he made golf look good... HA!

Ah, the beauty of the no-longer-highschool musical kid...

Making IHOP and Football interesting...

Do I even need to explain this one?

They cut the bottom of the photo off, it kills me a little...

They're taking him to my house...

EM: Men (can't live with them, CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT THEM)

So essentially I've realized that I have the most intense love/hate relationship with the male species. I mean, it's a little ridiculous. There are those guys who you're just friends with; they're sweet, they're funny, they're a little annoying sometimes, but you love being around them all the time. There are those guys you like; they're sweet, they're funny, they drive you up the wall because you know they just don't get it, and yet you love being around them all the time. And finally there are the guys who you hate so much you just want them to walk into moving rush hour traffic (there aren't very many of them, but they exist). This puts me in a pickle. Why? I can't handle the fact that I feel like to every guy I meet, I'm the friend. "Oh Emily, you're such a good friend!" and "Emily I love you" of course platonically. I'm not that girl who anyone's immediately attracted to, which is annoying. I mean, I don't want to be one of those girls who guys only like for they're looks, but still... and holy shit! Every guy I like, a bunch of other girls like, and just totally make it obvious. All over them, hugging them, sitting with them, talking to them, giggling uncontrollably, how the shit to I compete with that? I'm not that kind of girl, I don't play the game like that.

There's the ex-boyfriends of course. I mean, I only have one, but still, it's not the easiest thing ever. Are we friends? Yeah. Is it cool? Yeah! Will it ever be the same? No. Everything is completely changed and you'll never just be friends. You'll always be ex's, it's like being branded with a permanent mark on your forehead.

And the guys who you once kind of had a thing with, who completely fucked you over and are totally clueless to the fact that they hurt you. The guys who always try to talk to you like everything is cool, and you have to ignore, and you wish they'd just be gone forever, because in all honesty they're not that great anyway and the only reason you ever went for them is because you were so vulnerable from you're previous heartbreak that you were ready to jump anything and anyone with a pulse. And you were on two completely different pages; you didn't know it, but he did. Or you did know it and were in complete denial. Or you weren't in denial but thought he'd change his mind. OR ALL OF THE ABOVE! Not only is he a complete and total walking dick, but he's a constant reminder of what a complete retard you were. And you're still heart broken, he didn't fix anything. If anything, he just took your broken heart, put the pieces in a blender, and hit "frappe".

I just need to meet someone new, you know? Just meet someone new! A cool dude who isn't in theatre, who I haven't known for a decent amount of years, who is cool and nice and friendly, who has a good sense of humor... you know, that quite possibly non-existent-for-me dream guy. It's obnoxious, god college is a torture chamber sometimes.

THE JU: Stuck in Some Sort of No Man's Land

I'm in a really weird place in my life right now.
I'm not away at college. But I'm not in High School. I'm still living at home, yet I'm almost completely self sufficient.

Basically I'm stuck still going through the motions
Wake Up
Class/ Work
Homework
Sleep

Basically I'm stuck where I never really wanted to be. In this awkward suburbian bubble that I was forced into 11 years ago. Void of culture or anything remotely authentic.

Wanting nothing more than to get out. To go on my own adventures since everyone else is doing just that.
Yet I know that getting out for the sake of getting out will just get me stuck somewhere else down the road.

Basically I don't know what to do.

THE JU: we get it

This is the 4th English class in a row in which my first reading assignment was an article about how the texting epidemic that hits teenagers and young adults so hard is eating away at our ability to write intelligently.
All I have to say is enough already.
It gets beaten into our heads everyday that the way we write in e-mails, text messages and our facebook profiles is inappropriate in the classroom. We Get It. And honestly not one of my friends has ever tried to pass that off as academic writing.
Just like a good student would never turn in a paper that was written in the language that they used to speak to their friends, a good student would never turn in a paper in text speak. So I guaruntee that if a student hands in an essay strewn with abreviations and usless acronyms, that student would have turned in a shitty paper even if texting and blogs never exsisted.

And we also don't need to be taught how to conciously switch from text speak to the standard english used in academic writing. If you try to hold someone's hand through something like that you just hinder personal repsonsibility. It's like manners.
If raised correctly, the transition between the way a child speaks to his friend and the way he speaks to his grandmother should be a natural transition.
If taught correctly, a student should be able to transition just as easily from the informal communication we use electronically and the formal rules of academic writing.

Just teach kids all the rules and tell them that standard english is the only appropriate way to write for an academic audience. If they fuck up after that it's because they're lazy, not because texting is slowing eating away at the pillars of good english.